Archive for October, 2009

Thoughts on Community #8 – A Friendly Abrasive

Friday, October 16th, 2009

My last two blogs have asked:  who packs your parachute?  Who builds into your life?

Last week we observed that it’s not if you’re influenced, but how and when.  We also observed the (sometimes desperate) lengths to which people will go to be in a community.  This week, another thought:

2.  Building into people’s lives is hard work.

As tempered metal meets forged iron…as resistance is encountered in a loving community, that’s when people grow.  The Scriptures tell us:

The blacksmith stands at his forge to make a sharp tool, pounding and shaping it with all his might. His work makes him hungry and thirsty, weak and faint.  (Isa. 44:12, NLT)

Since a dull ax requires great strength, sharpen the blade. That’s the value of wisdom; it helps you succeed.  (Eccl. 10:10)

My good friend Lew Lambert is an artist.  He is a master craftsman building intricate, inlaid jewelry boxes, for which he won first place in an international competition in Seattle a couple of years ago.  He knows a thing or two about blades.  He has saws and planes that shave wood so thin you can read through it; so he doesn’t just know about blades, he knows about sharpening them.  According to Lew, smooth surfaces do not sharpen.  What’s required to sharpen is an abrasive.  He has a series of stones that range from very coarse to very fine, and only through those abrasive surfaces can a fine edge be developed.  He said the coarse stones are necessary at first to remove debris, corrosion and oxidation from the blade, and only after the initial removal of the imperfections is it possible to begin to finely sharpen the instrument for use.

So the question remains:  Who packs your parachute?  Who removes your debris, corrosion and oxidation?  In Proverbs 17, Solomon says it’s not through flattery that we are sharpened, but by the abrasive of a caring brother:

Wounds from a friend can be trusted. (v. 6)

The pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel. (v. 9)

Being a Jonathan is hard work.  It requires us to speak words of truth as well as words of comfort – one moment an abrasive to sharpen a friend’s focus, the next moment a touch of compassion to comfort and heal.  But it’s always hard work.  Abraham Lincoln said,  “If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend six hours sharpening my ax.”

Lew also told me about the master temple builders in Japan who, only after 30 or 40 years of experience, are honored to work on temple construction.  Because they consider their work on the temples so holy, before they use their tools, they will completely disassemble a plane and sharpen it to a surgical edge.  After putting it back together, they make one pass down the length of a wooden beam, stop, disassemble the plane, and re-sharpen it again for the next pass.  Their reasoning is that their work is so holy, it would be a sacrilege to use anything less than a perfectly sharpened blade for a divine purpose

So the second question is this:  How often should we be sharpened by our caring community?  The answer is:  before every use.  Before we go out into the world each day, let’s sharpen ourselves through prayer, time in God’s word, and a friend with permission to speak the truth.  That will make us temple builders – temples not built with human hands, but craftsmen and women that build into the body of Christ, the temple of the Spirit.

Thoughts on Community #7 – “No man is an island”

Friday, October 9th, 2009

Last time we asked, “Who’s packing your parachute?”  Does a community surround you?  More thoughts on our need for each other:

1.  It’s not a matter of if you’re influenced, but how.

You can be as headstrong, independent and stubborn as you want, but in Proverbs 27, Solomon knows better:

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.  (v. 17)

Just as water reflects the face, so one human heart reflects another.  (v. 19)

Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.  (11:14, MSG)

A person who refuses correction will end up poor and disgraced, but the one who accepts correction will be honored.  (13:18, NCV)

Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many counselors bring success. (15:22, NLT)

Over and over again, Solomon reminds us that no man is complete in and of himself.  John Donne wrote:

“No man is an island, entire of itself.  Every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main.  If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less.  Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind.  And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

It’s not a matter of if you’re influenced by someone, but how.  There is a deep-seated need in all of us for partnership and companionship.

If you don’t believe me, consider two signs of our times:

Chuck Swindoll talks about a Kansas newspaper where someone took out a one-line ad that read, “I will listen to you talk for 30 minutes, without comment, for $5.00.”  Swindoll said, “It wasn’t long before the person was receiving 10 to 20 calls a day. The pain of loneliness was so sharp that some were willing to try anything for a half hour of companionship.”

Here’s another example.  A Japanese entrepreneur understood the need for community and decided to offer a service to bring relief to loneliness.  For about $500 an hour, his company will provide three trained “stand-in family members” for up to three hours.

Not only does he have a booming business, he has a waiting list.  “Rent-a-family” works like this:  The hired actors play the roles of children, grandchildren, daughters, sons-in-law, whatever the clients require.  Normally, says the founder, they just sit around and talk.  That’s sad enough:  perfect strangers pretending they’re family.  But often, he has found, his clients rent a family for another purpose:  to criticize and berate their “pretend” children for leaving them so alone and sad.

Just as the triune God is complete through His community, so we, his children, are only complete through our community with Him and with each other.

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